The Grapple: A misguided yet valiant effort

Today, Boyfriend reminded me of a spooky discovery we made at the neighborhood Publix last month. There in the produce section, nestled snugly in shiny plastic containers at the end of the apple bin, was a startling Frankenstein of nature. Complete with a pronunciation guide on their cartoonish label, I stood paralyzed by the four Grapples (grape-les), waxy and ready to go for the bargain price of almost $5.

After the initial shock and awe subsided, we compared notes and discovered that, indeed, these were grape flavored apples. Where do I begin? First of all, why do we even need apples that taste like grapes? Will more people eat the apples because they taste like grapes? And is real grape really that popular of a flavor? Last I checked, kids preferred the fluorescent purple of bank lollipops and cough syrup.

One would think grapes are utterly flying off the shelves. Get Fit Foods, the company that markets the Grapple brand, would have us believe these Fuji Frankensteins will promote healthier lifestyles and encourage participation in its 3-Apple-a-Day plan. It’s a nice thought. The Grapple website links to an article with the heading “USDA grants help provide schools with Grapple brand apples!” Go to the actual article and the message is less clear. For starters, it doesn’t mention “Grapple brand apples.” In fact, a school official is quoted as saying the district likes to purchase local produce with the grants and put money back into neighborhood agriculture. Interesting because Lejeune, NC, is nowhere near Grapple’s hometown of Wenatchee, WA.

Another interesting tidbit is the quote Grapple chooses to highlight in its News page entry for the article. “We are so lucky,” said Jan Holt, Director of Child Nutrition Programs at Camp Lejeune. “Yes, more labor is involved, yes, it’s more costly, but it’s so beneficial for the students. It’s worth every second.” Why is it worth it? True, kids are novelty addicts, but there are cheaper ways to make an apple “fun.” Are my tax dollars really buying Grapples?

The Grapple website does go on to mention that its product is “just one of the popular choices being served at some of our nation’s schools.” Not exactly living up to your heading, Grapple.

So you may be wondering what goes into a Grapple. It’s all shrouded in mystery, but I can offer a basic–and I mean bare bones–explanation. Somehow, perfect little Fuji apples are soaked in a grape “flavor” concentrate. Apparently, this concentrate consists of real grapes and “pure” water. (*Note: I don’t use quotes lightly. These are actual terms used on the Grapple website.) Nevermind the details, just know that it’s possible.

Now, in case you’re someone who can actually afford to pay upwards of $1 per Grapple, I must warn you that many are claiming to be disappointed by the taste. Don’t get me wrong, the Grapples are delicious; it’s just that they taste too darn much like…well, apples.